


Denial.

by Onlymostydead



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Denial, Depression, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6760723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymostydead/pseuds/Onlymostydead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most people are in Denial about something.</p><p>But Neptune Vasilias is in Denial about a great many things, I'm afraid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Denial.

It wasn't depression.

Neptune knew that. Depression meant constant sadness, right?  
Depression meant that you thought no one loves you.  
So it couldn't be.  
Right?

Because sometimes he was happy, there were days when he just couldn't stop smiling, when everything was going just right.   
He knew people loved him, his teammates, his friends, teachers, he knew he was appreciated.  
So it couldn't be depression.

But what about those days.  
When no amount of sleep is enough, and getting out of bed seems to be a Herculean task. When just remembering to eat is a chore, let alone drinking any water.  
No, it couldn't be depression.

 

It wasn't a crush. 

He doesn't crush on his friends, certainly not his guy friends.  
Certainly not on a certain team leader, whose smile is as bright as, well, the sun.

So what's that tightness in his chest when Sun fails to notice his hesitant advances?  
What's that feeling he gets when he looks at him?  
Not a crush, Neptune knew that much.

 

They weren't panic attacks.

Neptune clenched his teeth and dug his fingernails into his palm.  
Panic attacks only happened to soldiers, hunters, people who had been in combat.  
Then why is his heartbeat quickening, pounding out of his chest?  
Why, every time he tries to breathe, is every breath met by a faster one, never providing the necessary air?   
Why is he so lightheaded, why does everything seem to be spinning around him?  
Why does he feel like he's drowning, dying slowly, the pressure increasing around him as he sinks?  
No, they couldn't be panic attacks.   
Right? 

 

Denial.

He wasn't in denial.

When you're in denial you are blatantly avoiding the obvious facts.  
He had just thought it through, given it reasoning, and the answers were obvious.  
He had accepted them.

So why does he feel so empty?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love <3


End file.
